Drug Addiction and Forgiveness

Writen by Lance Winslow

Many believe the best way to help someone overcome their drug addiction is to foregive them, love them and allow them to screw over the entire family again. And lets not forget the rehabilitation, court costs and police that the taxpayer must foot the bill for many times.

Some are far more critical of these issues and say that drug addiction is too readily accepted and too many people are coddled too often for it. We have recidivism rates, which would make anyone cringe. If we as a society were to say it is okay to do drugs and legalize them, as many users wish we would, then more people will do them, that is a bad thing not a good thing. Although many say that legalization of drugs will stop the problems that drugs bring to our culture and country.

Personally I believe in personal freedoms and do not care much what someone does on their own time. But it does seem to affect me in taxes for police, prisons, rehabilitation and personal property damage and theft. I have never been harmed by anyone on drugs, but have had to defend myself from such. I have never done drugs, but had them offered by what I thought were friends. Yet to me anyone who would offer someone that would hurt them, is not a friend at all.

Most believe there is no easy way to solve our drug problems and state; “there are no ‘quick fix’ remedies to this problem.” Well sure there are only we do not accept them as a society, we could just shoot drug addicted folks for their drain on society and crimes against those they harm. That is a more than quick fix; some countries do that. For Americans that does not sit well for us and we are the land of opportunity and second chance. What do you think the answer to the horrific drug problem in the United States is? Consider this in 2006.

Lance Winslow

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Anger Management

Writen by Becca Bilesanmi

Anger is an emotional state instigated by unpleasant event to an individual, which initiates flow of adrenaline and often times involves violent response. Progression of state of anger can be said to follow this pattern; Disappointment, Hurt, Unforgiving spirit, Resentment, Hate and revenge.

People react to anger in diverse ways. Some seek immediate revenge of commensurate proportion by over reacting and saying things they invariably regret or by getting out rightly violent which sometimes result in death. Others may become immediately complacent but become calculating to exert future and more devastating revenge ,whilst others become more philosophical and follow the biblical injunction that says ”vengeance is mine..and I will revenge” and thus leaving vengeance in God’s hands. Whatever the situation, it is pertinent to note that anger if not properly harnessed could result in fruitless waste of energy and deep wound that will take forever to heal. There is no gainsaying that some people embrace anger because it is part of them and cannot help but deal with the invariably regrettable consequences later. It is advisable that this people should be conscious of their peculiarities and work on their oversensitive emotions. Anger breathes resentment which happens when your emotions collide with someone else’s reaction resulting in bitterness which darkens your world and sometimes your joy.

Anytime you are angry, ask yourself the following questions; is my anger constructive or measured? Is my response controlled and gracious? Is it really worth dragging other people into it? Is the relief I will get worth the aftermath?

What are your wounds? Is it old or new? Is it an abusive parent or a cheating spouse or partner or a boisterous deal that has gone sour or an overlooked promotion or a friend’s unpaid debt or children who have forgotten that you exist .whatever the situation, you need to get over it or get even with it. Change the grudge in your life to sludge and let it bring life peace and joy. Conserve your energy for something that counts. Release it and don’t retain it. Let go forgive and move on!

Lastly, learn to live by the four ”R’’s - REFLECT, REPENT, RECTIFY and take RESPONSIBILITY and be guided by these golden rules whenever you are angry.

Move away from the situation
Think before you react
Try to be more tolerant
Look at issues dispassionately
Reverse roles and see your fault
Never say a word in the heat of anger, always allow a cooling period. Step back and take ten full deep breath followed by a cold glass of water before you utter a word.
Try to understand each other’s weaknesses.
Make allowances for each other’s deficiencies
Learn to overlook and FORGIVE.
Let go and let God!

Becca

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Assertive Communication - An Anger Management Technique

Writen by Ari Novick

Our client, Aaron, told us that in his family they typically yell at one another to get the point across. Aaron recently got in a relationship with a woman who told him that his anger “scares” her when he gets upset. Aaron’s reply was that he was not upset, this was “just the way I am used to expressing myself when I get upset, this is normal for me”. The reality is that what might be “normal” for you and your family of origin may not be the “norm” is terms of communicating effectively with others. Aaron’s style of communication is aggressive, but he didn’t realize the impact it had on his girlfriend. Aaron had to learn about his style of communication as well as other styles of communication to understand the kind of changes he needed to make. By learning to become more assertive, Aaron felt better, his needs got met more of the time, and his girlfriend no longer feared him when he did get upset.

The way we communicate or the style we use to communicate is often learned from much earlier experiences in our lives when our language skills were newly formed. Think about your family’s style of communication for a moment. Is your style similar to any of theirs? Most of us tend to communicate in a way that was adaptive in the environment we grew up, but problematic in our lives today. For many of us, our style of communication can leave us with unmet needs, unexpressed emotion, and damaging effects on those around us. It is important to understand that there are many different communication styles, yet only one that tends to yield the results we are seeking. Learning to express your primary feelings and needs, clearly, calmly, with good eye contact is what assertive communication is all about.

Good communication skills are an essential ingredient to anger management because poor communication causes untold emotional hurt, misunderstandings and conflict. Words are powerful, but the message we convey to others is even more powerful and often determines how people respond to us - and how we feel toward them.

Because communication is a two-way process, people with good communication skills are good at “receiving” messages from others as well as delivering them.

If you look at people in your life and we also look at your own behavior, you may discover certain patterns of communication. Some patterns are negative and harmful while others are positive and productive.

Frequently persons who have anger problems use harmful ways of communicating to others - harmful in the sense that it disrupts relationships and usually does not accomplish the goals that you intended.

Assertive communication, on the other hand, is a much more effective way to get what you want and what you need without the negative consequences. In short, the development of assertive communication skills will works for you by making you a more effective and less stressed person.

What is assertive communcation? Is is a way to communicate so that you convey your rights in a good way. Assertive communication helps people clearly explain their wants, needs, and feelings to other people. It is a way of getting things that you want without violating or offending others’ rights or having to walk away without getting what you want.

Assertive people tell others what they want and need clearly; they have a knack of saying the correct thing at the correct time.

Assertive communication skills are the antidote to harmful, destructive communication patterns.

The AJ Novick Group is a leading provider of Anger Management classes and training. He is the co-author of “Anger management for the Twenty-first Century” and a leading provider of anger management in southern California. For more information contact Mr. Novick at http://www.ajnovickgroup.com or ari@ajnovickgroup.com

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