No Buttons to Push

Writen by Guru Glenn

How often does life present you with an opportunity to get mad, or sad? We all live in a reactionary world that causes our emotional state to fluctuate.

How often have you heard someone say, “I wouldn’t be this way if only you weren’t _________ , or didn’t _________. ” Just fill in the blanks with anything that has triggered you in the past.

It may seem to you right now that when something happens you feel powerless to control your reactions. If you tire of having your buttons pushed and being manipulated by influences outside of your control then I urge you to develop self mastery.

Imagine how simple life would be if there were nothing that anyone could do to upset your sense of self. When one becomes master over themselves they are then fully in control of how they react to any situation presented to them. There is nothing in life more freeing than not reacting to another’s negative energy.

There are always going to be happenings in life that are beyond our control. Self Mastery creates self control which gives us the choice of how to react to whatever occurs in our lives.
Our buttons that normally would be pushed will have disappeared.

Let’s all walk through this reactionary world completely un-triggered.

We will be the purveyors of peace.

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Managing Anger: It’s A Skill

Writen by Ralph Notor

I see anger management as a skill.

In my psychotherapy practice, I teach men the skills to manage their anger more effectively. Sometimes the men I work with are sent to me because they have gotten themselves into trouble because of the way they express their anger. When we talk about learning a new way to manage their anger, sometimes the guys are surprised that there are other ways and that those ways can be learned, just like learning any skill.

We have all learned skills of one sort or another…like riding a bicycle. In order to be proficient at bike riding, you need to learn to hold on. Sometimes, though, you need to let go. You might need to shift gears when the ride is difficult. Sometimes, you put on the brakes. In order to make safe progress, you may plan ahead and train for challenging situations. Some difficult terrain requires great effort, sometimes you coast effortlessly. Practice allows you to gain confidence and familiarity with your reactions. Once you master the basics, you can extend your skill and proficiency. Small trips are easily handled, more complicated ones are appropriately planned.

Managing anger is similar in that you develop skills for holding on and letting go, planning ahead and dealing with challenges. Sometimes the anger you are trying to manage is very big, sometimes small. Sometimes you need to make a small adjustment to keep your balance. Sometimes it will be best to stop, reorient yourself and start again. Sometimes you will want to ask others to give you time before you continue, so you can catch your breath or regain your bearings. Just like learning to ride a bike, you become proficient with practice. With practice, the skills become second nature, allowing you to use them both quickly and effectively.

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Is Road Rage a Psychiatric Disorder?

Writen by Dr. Tony Fiore

Recent headline: “Road Rage may be due to medical condition called Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)”

WHAT IS THE SCIENCE BEHIND THIS?

The study, reported in the June (2006) issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry was based on a national face-to-face survey of 9,282 U.S. adults who answered diagnostic questionnaires in 2001-03. It was funded by the National Institute of Mental Health.

Results? About 5 percent to 7 percent of the nationally representative sample had had the disorder, which would equal up to 16 million Americans. That is higher than better-known mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

The average number of lifetime attacks per person was 43, resulting in $1,359 in property damage per person. About 4 percent had suffered recent attacks.

IS IT REAL?

This study has created much controversy regarding exactly what is “medical” about road rage and how it differs from plain bad, inconsiderate behavior.

Take the two following headline which were published recently:

News Item #1: “Police search for shooter following road rage incident”

Date: June 10, 2006. City: Indianapolis, Indiana.

The event: At an intersection, two drivers were involved in a confrontation when one of them opened fire on the other at a stoplight.

News Item #2: “Man, 21, charged in road rage shooting.”

Date: May 21, 2006. City: San Antonio, Texas.

The event (according to news reports): “Around 3AM Samuel Hitchcock, 21, Daniel Pena, 17, and another man were driving when a pickup passed them on an inside lane, striking Hitchcock’s side mirror. Hitchcock followed the truck into a residential area to gather information and the truck made a sudden turn, stopping. Hitchcock pulled up next to the truck. Pena, who was in the front passenger seat told police the truck’s driver pulled a gun and started shooting at them, striking him and killing Hitchcock.

Are all cases like this due to Intermittent Explosive Disorder? Very Unlikely! Some are and some are not. This is why it is important to have a professional assessment of each case of “road rage” to determine the underlying cause, such as IED - or some other problem.

Other causes that could come into play would include: alcohol or drug intoxication, stress, depression or bipolar disorder and, of course, bad, selfish or inconsiderate behavior.

ROAD RAGE VS AGGRESSIVE DRIVING

The person who weaves in and out of traffic, tail gates, or cuts in front of you may not be showing “road rage” per se, but inconsiderate aggressive driving. He is not angry at you; he probably doesn’t even know you exist, being preoccupied with his own selfish needs.

IED SEEN IN OTHER LIFE AREAS

It is also important to remember that persons who do indeed suffer from Intermittent Explosive Disorder may explode in many other situations besides road rage. Often they “blow up” at spouses, children, co-workers, or customer service employees.

REMEDIES FOR ROAD RAGE

If road rage is indeed due to IED, there are two treatments that can help both adolescents and adults: (1)medications , and (2) cognitive training

The medications usually involve SSRIs (a type of anti-depressant). In my opinion, most people who show rage on the road do not need medication, but some do and will benefit greatly from them.

Cognitive Training means learning to think differently about driving, aggression on the road, and other drivers. Cognitive training is an important element in many anger management programs, which a few states now require for “road rage” behavior and/or aggressive driving.

In our anger management classes and programs, we teach specific cognitive and behavior skills to control aggressive, inconsiderate, and dangerous driving behaviors. These skill include:

• managing life stress better, including time-management skills

• developing empathy for other drivers

• learning healthy “self-talk” phrases

• adjusting expectations of others on the road.

Dr Tony Fiore is a licensed psychologist, marital therapist and certified anger management trainer. He is a Fellow of the American Stress Institute and a Diplomate of National Anger Management Association. He has received advanced training in marital therapy at the Gottman Institute in Seattle,Washington. In addition to his active clinical practice, Dr Tony regularly conducts anger management classes in Southern California, consults and provides trainings to companies for anger and stress management, and trains anger management facilitators. He also publishes a monthly newsletter “Taming The Anger Bee.” With Ari Novick, M. A. he has recently published a new workbook/manual: “Anger Management For The Twenty-First Century - The Eight Tools of Anger Control.”

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