Families: Psychic Effects Of Your Anger On Others

Writen by Nick Arrizza, M.D.

When you get angry at a family member it may not feel very good for you to be in that state. I think you recognize, although some may not, that anger creates a great deal of emotional and physical stress on you.

Interestingly some individuals “think” that anger is somehow empowering and use it as a way to take charge of others and/or their environment. If this is you then I kindly ask you to look at how you feel during and after that angry state.

You will most definitely feel some or all of the following: guilt, tired, drained of your energy, foolish, out of control, weak, inadequate, like a victim and so on.

What impact if any does the angry state have on others around you? Well if they are in your presence your anger will be felt as emotionally abusive and hence will be traumatic to others. That makes you an abuser. You probably already knew this.

The story however goes much farther. In an article entitled “Some Evidence Of How We Are Spiritually Connected” I reported on a case study in which a new process called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) (MRP) was used to help heal two related individuals of a traumatic memory they had both experienced.

What was interesting, indeed, fascinating, about this study was that the second individual was healed “at a distance” and did not even know that the healing was going on. For more on this please read the article.

The important point that I wish to stress here is that individuals affect each other emotionally and physically at a distance by thoughts, feelings and memories that they carry about each other.

So if, for instance you are feeling angry towards someone, even if they are not physically present with you, they will be affected negatively by your anger. Not only that but the anger will be “processed” at an unconscious level by the other individual as a traumatic event.

What’s more, because you and they are “spiritually connected” in this way, as they are affected the effect will also “bounce back” to you. That is the negative effects of the anger that you “projected” onto them will bounce back at you just like light bounces off of a mirror.

In this light you will be doubly affected by your anger. In other words you will also be abusing yourself!

So is this all worth it? Well I’ll leave that for you to decide.

Having said that I also wish to point out that the opposite effect also takes place. If you send love to another person, you will be doubly (actually more than doubly) rewarded.

Try this out for yourself if you wish.

If you wish to know more about MRP kindly visit the web link below, it may change your life forever.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called “Spirituality And Science” (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of “Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation” (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.

Business URL #1: http://www.telecoaching4u.com

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Trade Anger and Revenge Seeking for Action and Success

Writen by Lance Winslow

So often we see people get irate at some situation and then so angry they almost cannot control themselves. Next thing you know they want to break something, kill something or attack something and then they want to get revenge on something that they attribute the to the root cause of the situation, which is challenging their sanity and reality.

So, often we see this anger fester over time and eat away at their soul and end up hurting them more than anyone else. Folks it is time to tell these people to knock it off and to use that raw emotion of anger and vengefulness and put it towards the common good. Namely their own, their family, their team, country or company. How so you ask? Well why not simply do this; Trade that Anger and Revenge Seeking for Action and Success.

We can help these folks by allowing them to help themselves and coaxing them into channeling that energy into endeavors, which will reward their hard work and help them become successful. The differences between a gang kid and a Boy Scout are not much in reality.

It is merely a matter of where they channel that energy when they have it available to use. If they use it in a negative way it ends up destroying lives and if they use it in a positive way it shows them no limits to success. Please consider all this in 2006.

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Conflict and Anger: Strategies to De-Escalate and Get Conversation Back on Track

Writen by Tammy Lenski, Ed.D

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. So said a fortune cookie once found by researcher Carol Tavris, who writes on the expression of anger. It turns out that this is good advice—both when you apply it to yourself and when you’re trying to de-escalate someone else’s intense emotion.

Thanks to the past decade’s work on emotional intelligence and research on the brain, we now understand that two common attitudes about anger are more myth than good practice. Venting anger, instead of being cathartic, actually heats us up more. As Emotional Intelligence author Daniel Goleman has said, “Anger builds on anger.” On the other end of the continuum is the attitude that anger can be controlled or prevented. While there are strategies that can help reduce volatile anger, we now know that anger and rage are some of the most difficult emotions to control because of our brains’ emotional circuitry.

Not coincidentally, dealing with your own and others’ anger is one of the most frequent fears I hear expressed by my mediation clients before we sit down together. People sometimes say, “I’m afraid of her anger” or “I’m worried I’ll make things worse if I lose my temper.”

If you are someone who is uncomfortable with others’ overt anger or whose work puts you regularly in front of potentially angry people, then here are some strategies I recommend from my mediator’s toolbox. These are strategies informed by the most recent research on emotion and by the experience of using them regularly.

1. Short-circuit the anger with what’s called “mitigating self-talk.” People often ask me how mediators can stand people’s intense anger. I differentiate someone yelling at me from someone yelling toward me. By knowing this, I’m less tempted to fan the flames with my own defensiveness or blame, and I’m better able to keep my balance. In effect, I’m defusing the anger by not engaging it. So, instead of saying, “You can’t talk that way to me,” instead try to…
2. Acknowledge and empathize. As hard as it sounds to feel empathy for someone who’s acting badly in front of you, it now appears that the instinct for empathy may actually be hard-wired in our brains. Build on that instinct by acknowledging their emotional state and needs, rather than figuratively pushing back or focusing too quickly on problem-solving. Say to the other person, “I see how frustrating this is for you” or “I’m sorry this has been so aggravating.”
3. Listen to understand. In conflict, most of us have learned to listen in order to respond, debate, judge or convince. I call it “listening with your answer running.” Yet, one of the reasons people get loud during conflict is that they don’t feel heard. Set aside, for the moment, your desire to defend, tell or fix the situation and listen with one intention: To fully understand. Say something like, “Tell me more.”
4. If nothing else has worked yet, take a time out. Recent research confirms that this remains a highly effective strategy in the face of rage. But there are two key conditions: First, the time shouldn’t be used to brood about your anger, because such brooding in effect allows anger to build on anger. So, the time out should include a distraction from the anger, something that pulls your attention elsewhere. Second, if you’re not the one who’s enraged and you’re suggesting a time out, it’s important to communicate that you’re not dismissing the other person—that only stokes the anger. Instead of saying, “I think you need to take a time out, ” say something like, “I think we’d both benefit from a break to get our bearings, and then I’d like to continue this conversation.”

When faced with an angry person, you do your best for them and for yourself when you can find ways to see the equal human in front of you. There’s a big difference between someone who is a jerk (as in, always and forever, which is rarely the case) and someone who’s acting lilke one in a bad moment.

Copyright © 2004 by Tammy Lenski. All rights reserved.

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