Anger Management: You Get Angry, I Get Angry, All God’s Children Get Angry

Writen by Jeff Herring

The most important factor is what we do with our anger. How we manage our anger makes all the difference.

Pop psychology once taught that the way to handle anger was to express it all, to let it all out. That’s another way to inflame the anger, as it can keep you stirred up, and then the anger feeds on itself.

We have choices

One choice we have when we are angry is to defuse it.
Anger, and especially what we do with it, is always a choice.

No one makes us do anything in response to our anger.

How to manage anger and what we do with it begins with understanding from where it comes. It is rarely, if ever, the first emotion we feel.

The big 3 emotions

In order to get angry, you first must feel something else, and it’s usually frustration, hurt or fear, or some combination of these three big emotions.

So, one powerful way to defuse your anger is to stop and ask yourself which of the big three you are really feeling, and then deal with that.

When you effectively deal with the big three, you will have made great strides in managing your anger.

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The Fatal Aspects of Anger

Writen by Saleem Rana

Since anger is such a prevalent emotion in our high-stress societies, we tend to take it for granted. We even consider it a healthy release of pent-up emotions. Yet, at its extreme, anger can kill you or someone else.

When you are angry, adrenaline floods your body, thus stressing all your bodily functions to the maximum. Biologically, this is an emergency situation. It may have saved your ancestors by impelling them to use a club to ward off a charging saber-tooth tiger. And in a war-zone, it might be useful, too. But, as an aspect of daily life, it is a sure way to ruin the smooth functioning of your metabolism.

When you further consider how your blood pressure rises as well, you are talking coronary heart-failure as well.

Anger is deadly. And when it is expressed towards others, can quickly escalate into homicide. In fact, most cases of murder are due to an uncontrollable resentment toward someone else.

Even unexpressed anger has lethal side effects. It can escalate into all sorts of worse mental aberrations and unpleasant life experiences.

Anger, expressed or unexpressed, can ruin your life. It can kill you or someone else. It is not something that you should mistake for a mere character flaw.

Even at lower levels of hostility, anger can cause major upsets. It can ruin your mental and physical health over time, and it definitely ruins all your relationships. Eventually, it can even hurt you financially, create substance abuse, or involve you in a deadly accident.

Anger is nothing short of a brief insanity. After your rage has passed, you are looking at some form of devastation. During your episode of anger, you literally lost your mindyour bodily sensations completely overwhelmed any sense of intelligence.

We laugh when we watch movies like “Anger Management.” Yet the final joke may be on us if we permit anger to control us. Unless we take care of our anger it is going to ruin our lives.

Anger, like suicidal depression, is a mental illness. It is a brief loss of reason, an overwhelming desire to strike out and hurt someone, a manic lust for revenge at any cost. Like any mental illness, it needs immediate attention.

If one is subjected to uncontrollable bursts of rage, then this needs professional intervention. A professional healer will help you identify and remove the traumatic conditions that have upset you. Some of them may be so deep-rooted that you are even unconscious about them.

If anger is merely due to high-levels of stress, anxiety, and frustration, then a course of stress-relief is necessary. There are many books on how to reduce your stress through such simple measures as taking walks, having hot baths, getting a massage, doing deep breathing, visualization, exercising, listening to soothing music, or taking on some form of spiritual practice.

It takes a great deal of effort to build anythinga business, a relationship, or a lifebut it takes a few outbursts of anger to have everything collapse into ruin. Can you really afford to take for granted an emotion that can result in either utter failure or death?

Resource Box

Saleem Rana is a psychotherapist in Denver, Colorado. Free audio interviews on the secrets of achievement by some of the greatest success legends and free e-books on how to get what you want are available at http://www.theempoweredsoul.com/enter.html

Copyright 2004 Saleem Rana. Please feel free to pass this
article on to your friends, or use it in your ezine or
newsletter. It’s a shareware article.

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Women Recovering From Drug And Alcohol Addiction Part 2

Writen by Maureen Staiano

Woman in recovery are learning to do everything all over again, experiencing life from a new perspective. Changing many years of addictive behavior can be uncomfortable. It is important to recognize that from the very beginning. Often times just acknowledging this simple fact helps make the transition into recovery a little more comfortable.

The early weeks of recovery from drug and alcohol addiction can be some of the most important. Not every woman entering into recovery from addiction is going to have supportive people surrounding her. Sometimes the woman is the first to seek treatment and her husband, boyfriend or other family members may still be in the grip of addiction.

Having support from other sources is beneficial if that is the case. Friends or outside family members can offer support but if the woman is still struggling, a network of people in recovery can often provide good advice as how to handle getting clean and sober, even if you are the only one choosing to do so. Twelve step programs have been beneficial in lending support for all recovering people.

If on the other hand you are a woman who is receiving support from loved ones, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Having a living environment free from drugs and alcohol can make abstinence much easier. Elicit the support of those living in your home to help keep anything that may be tempting out of the house. They are often happy to help once they see you are firm in your commitment to recovery.

The enemies of newly recovering people are; hungry, angry, lonely, and tired, otherwise know as H.A.L.T. By keeping a close eye on yourself as you move through the day to make sure none of these elements are getting out of hand you will make those early weeks and indeed your whole recovery a lot easier. When you see any one of these creeping to the forefront take immediate action.

Eating regularly helps you from getting overly hungry which can cause a drop in blood sugar and increases the cravings for drugs and/or alcohol. By planning ahead to address the problem of getting too hungry or by always carrying a small snack you help to protect yourself. Once overwhelming hunger hits you may already be at risk of wanting to use.

Angry and lonely can both be alleviated by having a network of supportive people and using it. Addiction is often a secret that the addicted woman has been carrying around for a long, long time. Talking about feelings as they come up with people who understand wipes out a lot of loneliness and helps diffuse anger. In early recovery from addiction these two feelings are often magnified and can cause the newly recovering woman to want to use again, if only to gain some relief from the feelings of discomfort.

Woman in early recovery from addiction often try to make up for everything they think they have cheated their loved ones out of. They try to be the best wife, mother, partner and employee. It is very easy to fall into the trap of burning the candle at both ends which quickly leads to exhaustion and a feeling of wanting to escape. If drugs and alcohol have been the usual means of escape it can be very tempting to want to try “just a little” to take the edge off. This can be a deadly mistake.

One of the best early recovery tools is balance, in all things.

A whole new way of life is being attempted and while it doesn’t come easily it definitely does come to many women who doggedly pursue it. It takes a lot of courage for a woman to attempt recovery from addiction. It’s important that she exercise self-care so she may have the best possible opportunity for success.

Maureen Staiano is a Life Coach specializing in working with women and the unique challenges, opportunities and transitions we face in our lives. Maureen has worked with people recovering from addiction for over six years. Please visit Maureen at: http://www.achieveyourdreamcoaching.com

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